After much consideration, I decided to continue my blog. I find that jotting down my thoughts into this blog is not only a good way to keep others informed of all that is going on in my life, but it's also very therapeutic to me. My last posting was in May, which was by far the most difficult period in my life as I had to face the reality of losing Connor. Though I know God was with me throughout the whole ordeal, I still had my moments of weakness where I questioned why Tim and I had to lose our baby while so many other people who don't even love God or want children have perfectly healthy babies.
I also had to deal with all of the insensitive remarks from other people. For instance, I had a few people tell me that losing my baby was God's way of saying that Tim and I weren't ready to have kids just yet. Though I'm sure they meant no harm in their statements, their words still cut me to the core. I also had people pestering me about when Tim and I were going to try to have a baby again. Last but not least, I had to deal with several other pregnant women share their happy moments of pregnancy with me and invite me to their baby showers. Of course, I was (and am) completely happy for them and their healthy babies, but it was so emotionally challenging for me to be surrounded by so many other new moms. It felt like a cruel joke that so many women would be pregnant and go on to have their babies at the very same moment that I had to mourn losing mine. Needless to say, there were many nights that I would curl up with my Bible and cry my eyes out. I was looking for answers from God and trying to find some sense of comfort.
Since then, I still have not found all of the answers; however, I have found comfort. God has provided His immaculate healing with time. He has shown me His grace and mercy in so many ways. He pointed out the fact that I was blessed from the beginning of Connor's life and it was a privilege for me to have ever carried that little baby in my womb. Instead of grieving over the brevity of Connor's life, I had to learn to praise God for it. Furthermore, I had to learn to trust God and lean not on my own understanding, but acknowledge Him in all my ways and allow Him to guide my paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Aside from the emotional impact, Tim and I had to deal with the physical part of waiting approximately three months (or two full menstrual cycles) before my OB/GYN gave us the "ok" to try for another baby. Of course, Tim and I wanted to try again for another baby right away. We knew from the bottom of our hearts that we were ready to be parents and that we wanted a baby more than anything. As a preventative measure (and as recommended by my doctor), I've been taking four times the regular daily amount of folic acid in hopes of preventing any neural tube defects from occurring in the future Baby Breeden.
As soon as August rolled around, which was in the safe zone to try again for a baby, Tim and I gave it another shot with high hopes that God would bless us with another baby all in His timing. Much to our surprise, we found out that we were pregnant again on August 16, 2008. I couldn't believe that it worked on the first try! I guess I'm a "fertile Myrtle." Tim and I were both shocked and excited that we were pregnant again. In addition to those positive feelings, we were also a little apprehensive. Though I know God doesn't want us to fear or worry, our natural tendencies still lead us to all of the "what ifs" and uncertainties that the future holds. Although I feel extremely blessed to be pregnant again right now, I'm still afraid of the possibility of receiving the horrible news that something could be wrong with this baby. Fortunately, statistics are in my favor; there is only a 3-5% that I could have another baby with spina bifida.
So, where do we go from here? Well, I'm already about 2 months pregnant as I type this posting. I've had one doctor's appointment so far. I had an internal ultrasound and got to see that little "peanut" with its heart flickering away. Dr. Yonkers said that the baby looks fantastic so far and that they will see me again on September 18th for another internal ultrasound. My due date is April 22nd! My blood pressure and weight are great; I actually weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant the last time. I will also be going to Riverside Hospital for ultrasounds, since the hospital's equipment is far more advanced than that at the OB's office. My quad screening (which is what detected the spina bifida the last time) will occur in another two months. In the meantime, all I can do is take my extra doses of folic acid (I'm surprised I'm not sprouting leaves right now with as much folic acid I've been taking over the past few months) and pray, pray, pray. I know God has a special plan for this baby just as He did with Connor, so here is my opportunity to really exercise my faith.
How am I feeling? Pretty much the same as the last time: very nauseous on and off. The worse feeling was when we went on our cruise to Bermuda and I had to deal with motion sickness AND morning sickness....the good news is that I didn't gain any weight from all of the eating I did on the cruiseship. Oh, and no sore boobs this time....I'm not complaining!
Conclusively, the Summer of 2008 has been quite an emotional rollercoaster. There are still many others who don't even know I'm pregnant. I've kept this pregnancy quiet for the most part, but I'm sure the news will leak out before too long since I'm already starting to see a little bulge in my belly. I'll post pictures soon.
Here we go again fellow bloggers....the adventures with Baby Breeden (part 2)!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Connor is with Jesus
Today, on Friday, May 9th, 2008 God welcomed our precious little baby boy into the golden gates of Heaven. In our hearts, we had already placed an identity on our highly anticipated son. His name is Connor Liam Breeden; which is Scotch-Irish and it symbolizes wisdom. In just a week's time, Tim and I went through a wide range of emotions from the initial shock of hearing the news that our precious little boy had a severe case of spina bifida to the actual loss of him.
On Monday, May 5th, we went to Riverside Hospital for me to have an amniocentesis--which would tell us if Connor had any chromosome abnormalities in addition to his spina bifida. (We have since then found out that his chromosomes were normal.) In prep for the amniocentesis, we had another advanced ultrasound done. Though we had just had one done on Friday, we were crushed when we could see that his condition had declined in just three days time (the rapid deterioration rate was very unusual). On the ultrasound monitor, we could see that his head had swelled a third of its size since Friday--which meant that hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain) was already occurring. His head was already deformed (lemon-shaped) due to the fluid retention and we knew that this meant that his brain was becoming more damaged (and would only get worse with time). We could also better see the hole in his spine, which didn't seem as big or as severe on Friday. The opening of the spine was further up the back than we had thought it to be and it revealed exposed nerves, which most likely meant that Connor was paralyzed from about where the kidneys are down through his legs. This would mean that Connor would probably be incontinent with his bowels and bladder if he were ever to make it into the world. Reflecting on the past month, whereas most women in my stage of pregnancy can begin to feel defined kicks, I now realize why I never felt any kicks--because Connor probably couldn't move his little legs. During all of the ultrasounds since week 8, we noticed that his legs never moved--we were just hoping that he was a lazy boy.
Words can't even describe what we went through not knowing what the future would bring for Connor and us. Tim and I, as well as friends and family (and even people we hardly know), have cried more tears than we thought were humanly possible over the past week. However, we thrived on the strength that all of our supporting friends and relatives gave us through their unfailing love. We knew that there was still hope in Jesus. We heard several success stories about other babies with spina bifida, so we were hoping that Connor would have the same chance. We appreciate all of the phone calls, e-mails, cards, meals, and other acts of kindness that were given to us as encouragement. Even more importantly, we appreciate your prayers. It is truly humbling to see how many people care for us and lifted us up in this time of need. We didn't even know many of the people praying for us, but we appreciate all of those who opened their hearts to us during this difficult time.
By May 9th, Connor's condition had deteriorated even more and he went home to be with God. I am feeling ok physically other than cramping, exhaustion, and minor bleeding, which is expected after any miscarriage or birth when the uterus contracts to its original size. The whole experience happened so quickly and there was such a whirlwind of emotions involved that I can't even fully describe everything--the pain was more emotional than physical. All I can say is that Tim and I are deeply mourning the loss of our son--I'll never be able to feel his belly in mine again; I'll never be able to hold his hand or gaze into his eyes; Tim will never be able to teach him how to cut grass and work on cars. I'd be lying if I said that we could just bounce back from this experience as if we were unaffected. However, I do know that God's grace and mercy was with us throughout the whole process and it will continue to be with us as we heal with time. I know that God felt the true desires of our heart to have a son--and He gave us one, just not in the form we expected. All of our prayers weren't ignored--they were just answered in different ways than we anticipated. Though we prayed for a miracle and for divine healing over Connor, this is God's way of still giving us this miracle because we know that Connor is now safe with God and not suffering. I think the part that hurt the most of this whole experience wasn't the actual loss of Connor, but the thought of knowing that he was suffering inside of my womb and that he would never have the chance of living a normal life as a healthy little boy. Tim and I (and our families and friends) will forever be touched by this experience. We will forever have compassion for anyone who has gone through a similar experience, and I hope and pray God will use us to help others in the future. I know that God still hears the true yearning of our hearts to someday have a family and we will trust that He will still allow that dream to occur--it will just be in His timing and under His conditions.
I love you all so much and I appreciate all of your continued prayers for peace in our lives. We will prevail in spite of our loss, because we know that it is a gain in Heaven. We're taking comfort in knowing that God knows our pain more than anyone because He suffered through the agony of watching His one and only son sacrifice his life on behalf of our sins.
Connor, we love you more than words can describe. There are so many people who love you and were hoping to smother you in kisses when you arrived. You had several baby showers planned, one I didn't even know about until now. (The ladies at work were going to throw me a surprise shower on May 31st.) We can't wait to meet you one day in Heaven where we know you'll have a perfect body, mind, and soul. We're sorry that your time on earth was so brief, but we know that you still had a divine purpose while you were physically with us. Your spirit will always remain in us. My six-year old niece Emily left you the following words in her journal:
"To My Baby Boy Cousin:
I know everything is alright because you are in Heaven now and "GG" (my grandfather) is holding you. I love you. I will miss you. I'm going to go upstairs to lay my head on the bed to cry for a while, but I'll be ok.
Love,
Emily, Ruthie, Mommy, Daddy, Dog, Dog, Cat, Cat" (even in a time like this I can get a laugh out of the last part because my niece has two dogs and two cats and she signed it "dog, dog, cat, cat" instead of leaving their names)
Closing out this blog--maybe there will be "Adventures with Baby Breeden #2" someday. God is good and He gives us second chances.
On Monday, May 5th, we went to Riverside Hospital for me to have an amniocentesis--which would tell us if Connor had any chromosome abnormalities in addition to his spina bifida. (We have since then found out that his chromosomes were normal.) In prep for the amniocentesis, we had another advanced ultrasound done. Though we had just had one done on Friday, we were crushed when we could see that his condition had declined in just three days time (the rapid deterioration rate was very unusual). On the ultrasound monitor, we could see that his head had swelled a third of its size since Friday--which meant that hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain) was already occurring. His head was already deformed (lemon-shaped) due to the fluid retention and we knew that this meant that his brain was becoming more damaged (and would only get worse with time). We could also better see the hole in his spine, which didn't seem as big or as severe on Friday. The opening of the spine was further up the back than we had thought it to be and it revealed exposed nerves, which most likely meant that Connor was paralyzed from about where the kidneys are down through his legs. This would mean that Connor would probably be incontinent with his bowels and bladder if he were ever to make it into the world. Reflecting on the past month, whereas most women in my stage of pregnancy can begin to feel defined kicks, I now realize why I never felt any kicks--because Connor probably couldn't move his little legs. During all of the ultrasounds since week 8, we noticed that his legs never moved--we were just hoping that he was a lazy boy.
Words can't even describe what we went through not knowing what the future would bring for Connor and us. Tim and I, as well as friends and family (and even people we hardly know), have cried more tears than we thought were humanly possible over the past week. However, we thrived on the strength that all of our supporting friends and relatives gave us through their unfailing love. We knew that there was still hope in Jesus. We heard several success stories about other babies with spina bifida, so we were hoping that Connor would have the same chance. We appreciate all of the phone calls, e-mails, cards, meals, and other acts of kindness that were given to us as encouragement. Even more importantly, we appreciate your prayers. It is truly humbling to see how many people care for us and lifted us up in this time of need. We didn't even know many of the people praying for us, but we appreciate all of those who opened their hearts to us during this difficult time.
By May 9th, Connor's condition had deteriorated even more and he went home to be with God. I am feeling ok physically other than cramping, exhaustion, and minor bleeding, which is expected after any miscarriage or birth when the uterus contracts to its original size. The whole experience happened so quickly and there was such a whirlwind of emotions involved that I can't even fully describe everything--the pain was more emotional than physical. All I can say is that Tim and I are deeply mourning the loss of our son--I'll never be able to feel his belly in mine again; I'll never be able to hold his hand or gaze into his eyes; Tim will never be able to teach him how to cut grass and work on cars. I'd be lying if I said that we could just bounce back from this experience as if we were unaffected. However, I do know that God's grace and mercy was with us throughout the whole process and it will continue to be with us as we heal with time. I know that God felt the true desires of our heart to have a son--and He gave us one, just not in the form we expected. All of our prayers weren't ignored--they were just answered in different ways than we anticipated. Though we prayed for a miracle and for divine healing over Connor, this is God's way of still giving us this miracle because we know that Connor is now safe with God and not suffering. I think the part that hurt the most of this whole experience wasn't the actual loss of Connor, but the thought of knowing that he was suffering inside of my womb and that he would never have the chance of living a normal life as a healthy little boy. Tim and I (and our families and friends) will forever be touched by this experience. We will forever have compassion for anyone who has gone through a similar experience, and I hope and pray God will use us to help others in the future. I know that God still hears the true yearning of our hearts to someday have a family and we will trust that He will still allow that dream to occur--it will just be in His timing and under His conditions.
I love you all so much and I appreciate all of your continued prayers for peace in our lives. We will prevail in spite of our loss, because we know that it is a gain in Heaven. We're taking comfort in knowing that God knows our pain more than anyone because He suffered through the agony of watching His one and only son sacrifice his life on behalf of our sins.
Connor, we love you more than words can describe. There are so many people who love you and were hoping to smother you in kisses when you arrived. You had several baby showers planned, one I didn't even know about until now. (The ladies at work were going to throw me a surprise shower on May 31st.) We can't wait to meet you one day in Heaven where we know you'll have a perfect body, mind, and soul. We're sorry that your time on earth was so brief, but we know that you still had a divine purpose while you were physically with us. Your spirit will always remain in us. My six-year old niece Emily left you the following words in her journal:
"To My Baby Boy Cousin:
I know everything is alright because you are in Heaven now and "GG" (my grandfather) is holding you. I love you. I will miss you. I'm going to go upstairs to lay my head on the bed to cry for a while, but I'll be ok.
Love,
Emily, Ruthie, Mommy, Daddy, Dog, Dog, Cat, Cat" (even in a time like this I can get a laugh out of the last part because my niece has two dogs and two cats and she signed it "dog, dog, cat, cat" instead of leaving their names)
Closing out this blog--maybe there will be "Adventures with Baby Breeden #2" someday. God is good and He gives us second chances.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Bittersweet News
A week and a half ago, I had a routine OB/GYN appointment and had my quad screening done (which is blood drawn that detects different levels that can depict Down Syndrome, Spina Bifida, and other birth defects). When I had the test done, I thought nothing of it. Last Tuesday, the lab at my OB/GYN called to inform me that the test results came back positive for one of the birth defects. Though I tried to trust God and not worry, I still cried my eyes out....guess that's what all concerned mothers would do when they hear that something could be wrong with their baby.
Today, Tim and I went to Riverside Hospital for genetic counseling and an advanced ultrasound. The genetic counselor explained my test results to us and pointed out that my elevated levels of AFP hinted around to the possibility of neural tube defects. During the ultrasound, we could clearly see that the baby's spine started to come into the form of a "V" towards the tailbone, which alarmed us that there is an opening in the sacral part of the spinal column....this means that our baby has Spina Bifida. Our biggest concern was confirmed, although we don't know the severity of it. Unfortunately we won't know just how bad the case is until the baby is born. I'm not going to go into great details about the different stages of Spina Bifida, but after researching them, it is very scary for "soon to be parents" to absorb the news that their child will have some form of this condition. All we can do at this point is hope for the best--meaning, that the baby will only be impacted by the most minor form of Spina Bifida; or even better, pray for a miracle! I know that God is awesome and that He can perform miracles with His Mighty Hand.
With all of that said, Tim and I are asking for you to pray diligently for God's Hand to be on Baby Breeden. Also, please pray that God will give us the strength to get through whatever the future holds. We are both heartbroken and very worried right now. The worse case scenarios keep going through our head right now. Though we are trying so hard to be positive and trust in God, we are still finding ourselves in tears. I want to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy without worrying myself sick about all of the "what if's."
The only good news I have to deliver right now (other than the fact that I know God is in control) is that we found out we're having a baby BOY today. I must admit that our excitement for having a boy has been slightly dampened because of the other news.
Baby Breeden and I will be monitored heavily in the upcoming months by ultrasounds. I will have to undergo more lab work and an amniocentesis (should we choose) to determine any other problem areas. It looks like I'll now be under the OB/GYNs at Riverside so that I can deliver at Norfolk General--which is the only hospital in this area that can provide the utmost care should the baby need surgery right away.
I appreciate all of your prayers more than you'll ever know. I know that God will take care of all of us during this challenging time. Love you all....and our little boy loves you too!
Today, Tim and I went to Riverside Hospital for genetic counseling and an advanced ultrasound. The genetic counselor explained my test results to us and pointed out that my elevated levels of AFP hinted around to the possibility of neural tube defects. During the ultrasound, we could clearly see that the baby's spine started to come into the form of a "V" towards the tailbone, which alarmed us that there is an opening in the sacral part of the spinal column....this means that our baby has Spina Bifida. Our biggest concern was confirmed, although we don't know the severity of it. Unfortunately we won't know just how bad the case is until the baby is born. I'm not going to go into great details about the different stages of Spina Bifida, but after researching them, it is very scary for "soon to be parents" to absorb the news that their child will have some form of this condition. All we can do at this point is hope for the best--meaning, that the baby will only be impacted by the most minor form of Spina Bifida; or even better, pray for a miracle! I know that God is awesome and that He can perform miracles with His Mighty Hand.
With all of that said, Tim and I are asking for you to pray diligently for God's Hand to be on Baby Breeden. Also, please pray that God will give us the strength to get through whatever the future holds. We are both heartbroken and very worried right now. The worse case scenarios keep going through our head right now. Though we are trying so hard to be positive and trust in God, we are still finding ourselves in tears. I want to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy without worrying myself sick about all of the "what if's."
The only good news I have to deliver right now (other than the fact that I know God is in control) is that we found out we're having a baby BOY today. I must admit that our excitement for having a boy has been slightly dampened because of the other news.
Baby Breeden and I will be monitored heavily in the upcoming months by ultrasounds. I will have to undergo more lab work and an amniocentesis (should we choose) to determine any other problem areas. It looks like I'll now be under the OB/GYNs at Riverside so that I can deliver at Norfolk General--which is the only hospital in this area that can provide the utmost care should the baby need surgery right away.
I appreciate all of your prayers more than you'll ever know. I know that God will take care of all of us during this challenging time. Love you all....and our little boy loves you too!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Almost at the Halfway Mark
Greetings to those of you keeping up with the adventures of Baby Breeden! I'm almost at the halfway point of my pregnancy; I'm 19 weeks and 1 day along (sorry, haven't been counting the hours, minutes, and seconds), which puts me in the fifth month. Can you believe it? Wow, time has flown by. I'm grateful to say that I'm feeling fantastic right now; no more morning sickness and not as fatigued as I was during the first trimester. I'm finally starting to look pregnant too (as you can see in the pictures)!
My last OB visit was last Wednesday, April 23rd. I had my quad-screening done, which was blood taken to detect any symptoms of Down's Syndrome or Spina Bifida. I have faith that the results will turn out just fine. Even if it doesn't, God has brought this baby into our lives for a reason, and we know that He will take care of us through whatever challenges the future could potentially hold. On a much brighter note, we got to hear the baby's heartbeat again! It was so funny because the baby kept on moving away from the doppler (probably because of the cold gel on my belly). The heartbeat was around 150 beats per minute (which is in the normal range for a fetus at this time; the norm is 120-160 beats per minute). According to old wive's tales, the higher the heart rate, the more likely the baby is to be a girl. We'll see if that has any truth to it in a few days.
So, my question to all of you is what do you think we're having....boy or girl? I've heard many people say that they have a feeling I'm having a boy. Some think that I look like I'm carrying low and rather small, which follows the wive's tale of it being a boy. However, others say that they have a feeling it's a girl because of the ultrasound pictures I've showed them and my sweet cravings (I've had a few sweet cravings, but nothing drastic; in fact, I've eaten pretty healthy for the most part). I think my family is rooting for a boy since there aren't any boys on the Sneed side of the family. Of course, they will be happy either way, as will we! But, I must admit that Tim and I are secretly hoping for a boy. (Yes, yes, the most important thing is that the baby is healthy.) I've even had a reocurring dream that I'll be having a boy. Another strange thing that happened was that my childhood best friend (whom I hadn't talked to in 3 or 4 years) called me out of the blue and said that she had a feeling I had a baby boy (she had no idea that I was even pregnant since we hadn't talked in so long). Strange!!! I don't know if my dreams and one of my best friend's premonitions have any truth behind them, but it will be fun to find out! The big ultrasound is May 7th (a week and a half away), and my family is going down to OBX the day after (May 8th), so it will be fun announcing the big news to them while we're on vacation....sorry, the rest of you will have to wait until I post on my blog again. Of course we'll call Tim's parents because it wouldn't be fair to tell my parents and make them wait for several days. If any of you just can't take the anticipation, we'll call you too! : ) (Let's hope Baby Breeden isn't too shy so that we can even tell whether it's a boy or girl!!!)
Anyways......the rest of the OB appointment went well. The doctor complimented me on my weight and asked if I had been exercising (yes I have--walking about 5 times a week and doing yoga twice a week). Even more importantly, my blood pressure was in excellent standings! I'm praising God that I've been able to provide a healthy home for my little one!
As always, thanks to all of you for keeping up with my blog and keeping us in your prayers....it's special friends and family like you that make this time all the more special! Post your thoughts on whether you think it's a BOY OR GIRL. I'll post again shortly after we return from OBX after Mother's Day....Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Almost 15 Weeks Along
This past Tuesday Tim and I got to hear Baby Breeden's heartbeat for the first time! Incredible!!! What a reassuring sound that was to hear! The doctor said baby and I are doing great; blood pressure was in great standings; my weight is right where it should be (still too small for the doc to take belly measurements, but there is definitely a "bump"); Baby Breeden is about the size of a lemon and has a strong heartbeat!
Even more exciting: we'll get to find out the sex of the baby on May 7th! I have one more OB appointment before then on April 23rd where I'll get more bloodwork done, have belly measurements taken, and get to hear the heartbeat again. The bloodwork should reveal if there are any warning flags for cystic fibrosis or downs syndrome. None of those diseases run in my family or Tim's (that we know of), and I'm young and considered low risk, so we are trusting God that everything will turn out just fine. Oftentimes, the flags that arise from tests like these are false results anyhow and the baby turns out completely normal. Of course, prayers are still appreciated!
Still feeling nauseated, especially in the evenings (guess I'm polar opposite when it comes to "morning" sickness....it's more like "evening/night" sickness). However, the doc says it should go away soon. Even if it doesn't, I'm hanging in here and I know it's all worth it!
Even more exciting: we'll get to find out the sex of the baby on May 7th! I have one more OB appointment before then on April 23rd where I'll get more bloodwork done, have belly measurements taken, and get to hear the heartbeat again. The bloodwork should reveal if there are any warning flags for cystic fibrosis or downs syndrome. None of those diseases run in my family or Tim's (that we know of), and I'm young and considered low risk, so we are trusting God that everything will turn out just fine. Oftentimes, the flags that arise from tests like these are false results anyhow and the baby turns out completely normal. Of course, prayers are still appreciated!
Still feeling nauseated, especially in the evenings (guess I'm polar opposite when it comes to "morning" sickness....it's more like "evening/night" sickness). However, the doc says it should go away soon. Even if it doesn't, I'm hanging in here and I know it's all worth it!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
14 Weeks....Hello 2nd Trimester!
I survived the first trimester with Baby Breeden! I'm still feeling nauseated from time to time, but it seems to be wearing off a little (thank God!). My belly is definitely "popped out" more than it was just a few weeks ago. I could really start seeing a bulge around 11 weeks and it's only getting bigger with each week. So far, I've gained about 3-4 pounds, which is the norm for most women in their first trimester.
I'm still not feeling any kicks or movement (which is normal for the 14th week), but hopefully in another month or two I'll be able to recognize those signs of life. We won't find out the sex of the baby until at least another month (yes we want to know!!!). My next OB visit is Tuesday, March 25th. I'm not suppose to have any ultrasounds done, but on a very exciting note, Tim and I should be able to hear Baby Breeden's heartbeat for the first time. We've been able to see Baby Breeden's heart flickering on the screen through the previous internal ultrasounds, but it will be so awesome to be able to hear it this time! Can't wait!
Laurie gave me a little yellow T-shirt with a stroller on it that says "that's how I roll".....too funny! My friend Carol (from work) gave me a little yellow onesie that is neutral for a boy or a girl. She thinks it's a girl, but I keep telling her not to "jinx" us. Though Tim and I will be happy with whatever God gives us, we are hoping for a baby boy. The Sneed side of the family (my family) is filled with girls, so we need a boy to break the trend! Tim's side of the family is a mixture of both, so it will be exciting either way for them. Ultimately, the most important thing is for us to have a healthy baby, but we are keeping our fingers crossed for a boy. I've always been somewhat of a tomboy, so I could never picture myself with anything other than a boy, but God may have a little girl in mind.....we'll see!!!
Tim has been a wonderful husband and "dad to be." He rubs my belly several times everyday and he has been more than patient with me on the days when I'm feeling pretty icky. I'm so blessed to have such a supportive hubby! He even cleared out the room that we will be converting into a nursery. We have yet to get any furniture, but at least the room is ready for Tim's mom to paint a mural on the walls....I'll explain more about that in another post.
Tomorrow is Easter....it's hard to believe that this time next year I'll probably have my baby dressed up in some ridiculous bunny outfit (think of the movie "A Christmas Story," ha, ha!....just kidding; I won't torture my kid like that!). On a more serious note, I can't imagine how much it hurt God to see His one and only son endure all of the suffering on the cross just over two thousand years ago. However, if it weren't for that suffering, none of us would have the huge privilege of having eternal life. With that said, I hope and pray that each and every one of you reading this has accepted Christ as your Saviour. Though I haven't even seen my baby face to face yet, I already love him or her more than words can express; but, even with all of the love I'm capable of showing, it pales in comparison to God's love for us.
Happy Easter to all of you! I'll post again after my OB appointment on Tuesday! Also, (as you can already see up top) I'm posting pictures (that were taken today) that mark the end of my first trimester....check out that belly (there's definitely a baby in there)!
By the way, I don't know why the spacing keeps getting screwed up in between my paragraphs....I've tried to fix it several times already! I'm somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to writing, so I just wanted to throw out the disclaimer that I realize that the spacing is messed up in this post!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Special Shout-Out to my Mom and Sistas
After reading over my other posts, I don't think I've given enough credit to my loved ones. I really want my mom to know how much I love her and appreciate her. It's amazing to think that a little over 26 years ago, she was going through the same thing with me in her womb! I love you, Mom! My mom has been calling me just about every weekend to check up on me, and it means so much to hear from her. Mom is always very busy with work, so it's always special when she takes a break and we get to chat. I work in the same building at work as my dad, so we get to talk just about everyday. I've always been a "Daddy's girl," but I still wish I could spend more time with my mom.
Also, I love my sisters very much! They are my best friends! My older sister, Dawn (I always call her "Dawny"), has been pestering me for years to get pregnant so that I could join the adventures of parenthood with her. She already has two little girls of her own: my nieces Emily and Ruthie, ages 6 and 3. Dawn was so excited for me when I told her that Tim and I were trying to have kids. She was also very reassuring that everything would work out fine and in God's timing. So, thanks Dawn, for your enthusiasm and encouragement.
Then, there's my little sister Laurie who has already offered to throw me a baby shower. It turns out that I may just have two showers versus three, so I appreciate her taking on such a big task in planning out a shower for me. I'm sure Dawn will help her with the planning. Laurie is a lot like me; she plans on waiting a while before she has kids. She has only been married since last June, so her and her husband have PLENTY of time. However, it will be fun when my sisters and I all have kids of our own so that we can all share our adventures of parenthood with each other.
I also have my sister-in-law, Amber. She has been very excited for Tim and me. I appreciate all of her encouraging e-mails. She has offered to lend me some of her maternity clothes. She had Kenden in October, so most of her maternity clothes are for summer--which is what I'll be needing. Amber has also offered to throw me a shower, so I'm so appreciative of all of her generosity. I have the best in-laws ever! My mother and father-in-law are so wonderful to me!
I can't forget my grandmother, who has always been like a mom to me. My sisters and I used to spend the night with my grandparents all of the time when we were little. Grandma and Grandpa's house was our second home (and still is to this day, even though Grandpa's home is Heaven now). Even now, my grandma still calls to check up on me and make sure I'm surviving my first few months of pregnancy. She is 82 years old, but she has the heart and spirit of a young, vibrant lady. She has always been such a wonderful Christian example in my life. I hope I can be half as good as a role model to my child as she's been to me over the years. I love you, Grandma!
Last but not least, I am so thankful for all of my "sisters in Christ." I have a wonderful Sunday School class filled with great friends at Liberty Baptist Church. We all have a very special bond through the Holy Spirit. Just today in church, I could feel the Holy Spirit moving among all of us. Whenever any of us are going through struggles, we can always lift each other up in prayer and encourage each other. Thanks to all of you wonderful Christian warriors for helping me to be a better daughter of Christ.
There are so many more people I can include in this "shout-out:" my Nana, my family in Staunton, my friends at work, and a few close friends from high school (Melody, Kristen, Valorie, Chinita, etc.). Some of you may be wondering, "why is she going on and on rambling about all of these people in her life when this blog is suppose to be about the adventures of Baby Breeden?" Well, the answer to that is I realize that this time in my life isn't all about me. It's about all of those who have touched my life and made me who I am today. Each and every one of you who is reading this has had a positive impact on my life at some point or another. I appreciate all of you and I'm so thankful that you're sharing this special time in my life with me. I can't wait to introduce you to Baby Breeden in September!
Also, I love my sisters very much! They are my best friends! My older sister, Dawn (I always call her "Dawny"), has been pestering me for years to get pregnant so that I could join the adventures of parenthood with her. She already has two little girls of her own: my nieces Emily and Ruthie, ages 6 and 3. Dawn was so excited for me when I told her that Tim and I were trying to have kids. She was also very reassuring that everything would work out fine and in God's timing. So, thanks Dawn, for your enthusiasm and encouragement.
Then, there's my little sister Laurie who has already offered to throw me a baby shower. It turns out that I may just have two showers versus three, so I appreciate her taking on such a big task in planning out a shower for me. I'm sure Dawn will help her with the planning. Laurie is a lot like me; she plans on waiting a while before she has kids. She has only been married since last June, so her and her husband have PLENTY of time. However, it will be fun when my sisters and I all have kids of our own so that we can all share our adventures of parenthood with each other.
I also have my sister-in-law, Amber. She has been very excited for Tim and me. I appreciate all of her encouraging e-mails. She has offered to lend me some of her maternity clothes. She had Kenden in October, so most of her maternity clothes are for summer--which is what I'll be needing. Amber has also offered to throw me a shower, so I'm so appreciative of all of her generosity. I have the best in-laws ever! My mother and father-in-law are so wonderful to me!
I can't forget my grandmother, who has always been like a mom to me. My sisters and I used to spend the night with my grandparents all of the time when we were little. Grandma and Grandpa's house was our second home (and still is to this day, even though Grandpa's home is Heaven now). Even now, my grandma still calls to check up on me and make sure I'm surviving my first few months of pregnancy. She is 82 years old, but she has the heart and spirit of a young, vibrant lady. She has always been such a wonderful Christian example in my life. I hope I can be half as good as a role model to my child as she's been to me over the years. I love you, Grandma!
Last but not least, I am so thankful for all of my "sisters in Christ." I have a wonderful Sunday School class filled with great friends at Liberty Baptist Church. We all have a very special bond through the Holy Spirit. Just today in church, I could feel the Holy Spirit moving among all of us. Whenever any of us are going through struggles, we can always lift each other up in prayer and encourage each other. Thanks to all of you wonderful Christian warriors for helping me to be a better daughter of Christ.
There are so many more people I can include in this "shout-out:" my Nana, my family in Staunton, my friends at work, and a few close friends from high school (Melody, Kristen, Valorie, Chinita, etc.). Some of you may be wondering, "why is she going on and on rambling about all of these people in her life when this blog is suppose to be about the adventures of Baby Breeden?" Well, the answer to that is I realize that this time in my life isn't all about me. It's about all of those who have touched my life and made me who I am today. Each and every one of you who is reading this has had a positive impact on my life at some point or another. I appreciate all of you and I'm so thankful that you're sharing this special time in my life with me. I can't wait to introduce you to Baby Breeden in September!
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